When my daughter first asked if she could try Brazilian jiu jitsu, I had no idea what I was getting into. Like most parents, I thought we’d just drop in for a trial class, maybe get her a cute gi, and see if it stuck. What I didn’t expect was falling in love with the sport myself, and stepping onto the mats alongside her.

Fast-forward a few months, and we’re both training. She’s learning shrimping drills and armbar escapes, and I’m tapping out to teenagers in their blue belts like it’s my job. It’s messy, humbling, hilarious, and honestly… one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done as a parent.

If you’re thinking about joining your child on the Brazilian jiu jitsu journey- or already have- this guide is for you. We’ll cover tips to help parents train with their kids in a way that builds confidence, connection, and family resilience on and off the mats.

Why Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is Perfect for Families

Brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ) isn’t just another after-school activity. It’s a martial art that develops physical strength, mental discipline, emotional resilience, and mutual respect. And when parents train with their kids, those lessons multiply.

• You’re not just watching from the sidelines, you’re modeling what it means to struggle, grow, and persevere.
• You speak a shared language of techniques, drills, and belt stripes.
• You develop mutual respect as you both learn something brand new, sometimes from each other.

Plus, you build memories together that aren’t centered around screens or routines. It’s active, immersive, and incredibly bonding.

1. Start With the Right Mindset

Here’s the first tip, and maybe the most important: don’t treat your child like your student.

As adults, we’re used to leading, explaining, and fixing. But on the mats? You’re both students. That shift in dynamic is key. Let your child ask questions. allow them learn at their own pace. Let them teach you something sometimes.

Remember, your child may pick up movements faster than you. And that’s okay.

The goal is connection, not competition.

Also, drop the ego at the door. You might make mistakes. You’ll feel awkward. You’ll probably get tapped out by someone half your size. And your kid will see all of it, which is a good thing. It shows them that growth isn’t always graceful, and that’s perfectly normal.

2. Choose a Family-Friendly Gym

Not all gyms are built with families in mind. Some cater primarily to competitors, while others have thriving communities for both kids and adults.

When choosing a gym, look for:

• Flexible class schedules that allow parents and kids to train back-to-back or together.
• Instructors with youth experience who understand how to teach and motivate kids (and who support parent participation).
• A welcoming culture that promotes respect, encouragement, and safety.
• Cleanliness and organization, especially important for families training multiple days per week.

If possible, attend a few trial classes with your child before committing. Observe how the instructors treat kids. Are they patient? Engaging? Do they make it fun while still instilling discipline?

And ask about Brazilian jiu jitsu programs that allow parent-kid pair drills or shared learning environments. The best gyms will encourage you to be part of the journey, not just a spectator.

3. Create a Routine That Works for Both of You

Life’s busy. Between work, school, and everything in between, finding time to train isn’t always easy. But if you treat BJJ like any other important commitment, like a doctor’s appointment or work meeting, you’ll be more likely to stay consistent.

Some helpful tips:

• Choose two set days a week to train together, and make them non-negotiable.
• Keep a small gear bag for each of you packed and ready (nothing derails momentum like hunting for a lost belt at 5:45 p.m.).
• Use post-class time to connect, grab smoothies, talk about what you both learned, or share what was hard.

This isn’t just about Brazilian jiu jitsu. It’s about building a healthy routine around shared goals and mutual accountability.

4. Celebrate Progress, Not Just Promotions

Every belt stripe matters, but so does every small win.

• Did your child finally pull off a scissors sweep?
• Did you make it through a full round without gassing out?
• Did one of you tap out with grace instead of frustration?

Celebrate that.

Progress in BJJ is slow, and sometimes hard to see. But showing up, learning from a loss, or drilling a movement until it sticks—those are victories worth acknowledging.

Kids, especially, need to feel seen beyond the belt system. And when they see you celebrating your own little wins? It becomes part of the culture in your household.

5. Know When to Step Back

Training with your child can be incredible, but it also has its challenges.

If you notice your child feeling frustrated, overshadowed, or pressured, check in. Sometimes kids need space to grow without feeling like they’re being compared to a parent. If necessary, train in separate classes or give them their own “kid time” on the mats.

And if you need space too? That’s okay. Parenting is exhausting. Adding BJJ to your life should add joy and resilience, not stress or guilt.

The balance is different for every family. Listen to each other, and adjust as needed.

Real Stories from the Mat

One dad I train with started BJJ because his 10-year-old son asked him to. Now, two years later, they both compete at local tournaments, help coach younger kids, and share a bond they both say has “changed everything.”

Another mom joined after her daughter kept asking her to try. She says it’s helped her reconnect with her body after years of feeling disconnected post-pregnancy. “I feel strong again,” she told me. “And she sees me as more than just mom—she sees me working, failing, trying. That’s powerful.”

Brazilian jiu jitsu becomes more than just a sport when families commit together. It becomes part of your identity.

Final Thoughts

Training Brazilian jiu-jitsu with your child isn’t always smooth. There are bumps, bruises, bad days, and occasional tears (from both of you). But what you build together, trust, confidence, and grit, is something few other activities can offer.

You’re showing your child what it looks like to face fear, to stay humble, and to keep coming back. And they’re showing you what resilience, curiosity, and joy really look like through fresh eyes.

And if you’re in Florida looking for an academy that understands the value of training together, check out programs offering youth Brazilian jiu jitsu in Orlando. Many gyms now cater specifically to family-friendly environments where kids and parents can grow together on the mats.

Because when families train together, they don’t just learn to fight, they learn to rise, side by side.

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